|
10 Week Depression Support GroupBegins9/7/8 World Wide Sex Therapist Directory Links
|
Putting Passion Back into your Relationship When a couple first becomes involved in a sexual relationship, there is often a high level of excitement and passion. As time passes and a relationship deepens and grows, sometimes the sexual relationship, while still good, can become more of a routine and may not have the passion that used to be there. Try the exercise below to talk about passion and to try some new ways to create it. 1. Each partner should get a piece of paper and a pen. Separately, write down everything you can think of that turns you on and that you find erotic. Think about any fantasies that you have had or anything sexual that you wanted to try or thought was interesting. Try to make as thorough a list as possible. 2. Before you share your list with your partner, pull out another sheet of paper. On this page, write what you think your partner may have written on his or her list. Think about things that he or she might have said in the past or things that you think that he or she may find erotic and passionate. 3. Next, exchange the lists where you predicted what your partner would write. Examine the list and find out from your partner if it is accurate. Have the following discussion: What on the list surprised each of you? Why? How does each of you communicate your sexual desires, likes, and fantasies? What topics are taboo? Then, exchange the initial lists. Answer any questions and talk about the items on the list. Find out from your partner his or her reaction to the items. Does he or she find the items erotic? Would he or she be interested in trying any of the items? Does he or she have a good, bad, or neutral reaction to the items? Talk about how you would try the items or if you or your partner wanted any variation or would need to negotiate any boundaries or limits of what would be tried. Through examining these lists, you may learn something new about your partner. 4. Now that you made the lists, take it one step further and put these ideas into action. Decide which items you both find erotic and interesting. Have one partner plan a time for you to be together and sexual. This partner is not to tell the other when the planned time is. The other partner is to pick one or two of the ideas on the lists to prepare for and initiate during sexual activity. This partner is also not to tell the other what they have picked or prepared. For the more advanced couple: Often couples do not have the same sexual desires, but if you are in the mood where you are willing to please, take an item for the other person’s list and experiment with it. Your partner will likely be appreciative that you took an interest in something that he or she would like and it sends your partner the signal that it is o.k. for you both to have different sexual tastes, that you are attentive to his or her needs as a sexual person, and that you receive pleasure from watching him or her get turned on. You may find over time that you not only enjoy giving your partner pleasure, but that you enjoy the activity as well. We often don’t know what we might like unless we give it a try a few times. If you are willing to be more open to your partner’s ideas, it is likely that he or she will be more open to your ideas as well. Creating passion is about being creative and experimenting in ways that feel comfortable, pleasurable, and exciting. Sexual expression in our relationships is about sharing love and having fun. Written by Jennifer L. Foust, M.S., LPC Related Tips
|
|
To schedule an appointment with: The Founder
of Sex Therapy in Philadelphia The Staff at Sex Therapy in
Philadelphia Please call Alex Caroline Robboy at (215) 570-8614 or the main intake number (267) 324 - 9564 Fax (215) 922-6302 Directions to Sex Therapy in Philadelphia If you do not live in the Greater Philadelphia Area, and need a Sex Therapist (Are you a sex therapist? JOIN NOW)
TO PARTICIPATE IN OUR The Center for Growth, Inc also known as Sex Therapy in
Philadelphia
|